Saturday, 17 June 2023

Mother

 

Mother

The morning sunshine brought in a new life to Susanna, and also a new life into this world. It's a new life for Susanna as she has just then stepped into motherhood.

There was lying right next to Susanna, near her hospital bed, in a cradle, a cute new born baby which she gave birth few hours back, and was wrapped in a bundle of white cloth.

Susanna couldn't help stop glancing at the baby, and her heart leapt with joy every time she got a glimpse of the baby.

For a moment she was trying to make herself believe that the baby was her own and only her own. But the harsh truth that was always underlining, infact she was well aware.

Right beside Susanna was her mother and a maid there, and it was a sunny morning. Their room was basked in the morning sunlight, which spread a golden glow around, and all shiny objects were glistening in the bright light.

Susanna turned to her mother and in a wavering voice asked her, "Have you informed Mrs.Emily about the child birth ?"

The instant reply was, "I tried calling her, but she wasn't reachable. So I called her husband Mr.Samuel and informed him".

Susanna turned her head to the window and gazed out for sometime, with her eyes swelling with tears.

Her mother added, "They will be here shortly and ...." She paused.

Susanna nodded her head gently.

Her mother continued, "Well you needn't worry too much or be upset. Anyway we are all well aware, ...and ...the payment is done ...".

She turned to her mother, and in an annoyed tone remarked, "I know !!! No need to keep telling me the same thing over and over again."

The maid though she was listening to the conversation, sat silently beside Susanna 's mother on the couch.

 

Quite soon, they all heard a sudden knock on the door of the hospital room, and her mother clumsily got up to walk towards there, but before she could reach, they all saw the door flung open and a couple rushed into the room. Seeing the two new familiar faces there, they extended a greeting but infact a cold one.

The lady Emily rushed towards the cradle and in great joy kept staring at the new born baby. She wanted to lift the baby and hold in her arms but others forbade. The baby was fast asleep.

Emily continued staring at the baby and tears were rolling down her cheeks out of sheer joy. 

Mr.Samuel who stood few feet away from her, also couldn't hide his joy and happiness, and he too kept staring at the baby. Quite soon he stepped forward, and extended his hands, and placed over Emily's shoulder and they both stood there staring at the cradle.

Then Emily shot a quick glance at Susanna and asked her if she was fine, and how everything went well.

Well Susanna in a weak tone replied that she was alright. She continued, that she had developed labour pains the previous night and her mother and their maid rushed her to the hospital and subsequently the childbirth too happened in wee hours after 2:30AM, which Susanna's mother had informed them.

Emily nodded her head.

 

After talking to them for a brief time, Samuel and Emily stepped outside.

When they had gone, Susanna with tears swelling in her eyes, uttered in a very emotional voice to her mother, "I don't think I can give  away my child to them !!!"

"Then what do you suppose ? And is it "your" child ?"

Susanna didn't reply anything. 

Her mother continued, "You have already signed the contract. Then why did you agree for surrogacy?"

"I have always told you to keep in mind that you are just a "carrier", nourishing 'the life' which was within you, which never belonged to you."

"When the opportune time comes, you should be ready to accept the reality. Nothing belongs to you. You were only doing your part and the new life or the new being, you should obviously return to the owners to whom it belongs. There ends your motherhood !"

Susanna couldn't hold back her tears. And she sobbed in anguish and wept bitterly.


Quite soon the couple Mr. & Mrs.Samuel walked into the room again along with the doctor, and as they walked in, Susanna heard the doctor explaining about the vitals of the baby to them, and affirming that the baby was fine.

After the doctor left, they all remained in the room afterwards, trying to put up some conversations.

It was a mixture of various emotions and sentiments there in the room. 

Though they all mostly remained quiet and just brief conversations in between, each of their faces revealed the true emotions straight from their hearts and it was quite evident to all, the amalgam of several emotions ranging from happiness to agony. 


Later, the couple (the Samuels), got busy with several paper work and hospital bill settlements, and Susanna continued in her hospital ward with her mother and her maid.

 

After two days it was time for Susanna to be discharged from the hospital, and for the couple to receive their baby.

It was around 4:30PM in the evening and in the doctor's cabin.

Across the table sat Mr and Mrs.Samuel, and Susanna, her mother, and their maid. Susanna's mother was holding the baby in her arms and placed over her lap. 

Susanna sat with a heavy heart.

 

Well, the discussions that proceeded were all that was as anticipated and nothing out of the blue, yet Susanna sat there silently 

deeply grieved and in anguish listening to the regular routine conversations and the dialogues. 

She tried to still keep up the slight ray of hope she had, that finally the doctor or the couple would end up saying she can keep the baby for herself and raise the child.

But the bitter reality was the fact that everyone knew and was well aware, and the conversation ended in those lines itself.

 

So finally Emily, and Samuel turned to Susanna's mother to receive the baby, while Susanna sat there silently with her head down and her eyes filled with tears. Her mother gently handed over the baby wrapped in a bundle of soft clothes, to Emily who received with both her hands, welcoming with a warm smile and with lots of love. Tears rolled down the cheeks of Susanna but she still continued to remain silent, and sat as if she was staring at something down on the floor.

Emily and Samuel looked too much happy and joyful after receiving the baby and both of them were gazing down at their bundle of joy. 


Finally everyone got up and the overjoyed couple thanked them and was about to leave. Susanna too got up and she too shook her hands with Emily and also nodded her head faintly trying to put up a smile, when Mr.Samuel too thanked her.

Then Samuel and Emily walked out of the cabin holding their baby in Emily's arms, and Susanna and her mother too stepped out of the doctor's cabin, as they walked away through the corridor.

Susanna continued to stare at them until they reached the end of the corridor and turn right, and until they completely disappeared from her sight.

Susanna's mother placed her arms over her shoulder and beckoned her to return home. 

"Come dear, now let's go back home".

She nodded and followed her mother without uttering a single word. The maid who stood beside them too added, "We'll be back home soon, and shall be back to our old life."

Again she nodded, but still preferred to remain quiet.

 

Her mother and the maid carried most of their belongings, as they walked out of the hospital. While Susanna gently walked behind them.

Quite soon they were in the taxi and were heading towards their home.

Her mother kept glancing at Susanna occasionally, who sat beside the window of the cab,  gazing outside and was lost in thoughts.

Now she seemed to look better, and not so teary eyed but yet very much depressed. It was as if she was now trying to accept the harsh reality of her life.

Her mother broke the silence, "We will be back home, and don't keep thinking of all these." She tried to pacify and cheer up her daughter.

"Yes, I know", came a faint reply from Susanna.

"In our life we are here just to do our part, and for no parent their child is their own, and same is the case of any relationship. All of us are "surrogates" in one way or the other, sooner or later we shall realize..."

"Hmm", nodded Susanna.

They continued their journey further and mostly everyone was silent; either they deliberately preferred to remain in silence, or ended up being in silence.

Susanna turned to her mother after a brief while and asked innocently, "So, can I atleast get to know the name of the baby?"

Her mother nodded her head, and they continued their journey ahead.

 


 

Written by,

Suveen Jacob Abraham.









 


Wednesday, 8 December 2021

Frozen !

Frozen !



Sophia was quite disturbed by the phone call she got one day. It was from her son Roy. 

Roy, Sophia's only son had gone to Europe, with some of his friends. He was a young man in his late thirties. He called up his mother that day and spoke for a while and then quite suddenly asked, "Mom, if it's fine for you would you mind coming here ? I shall make the travel arrangements soon". She didn't quite well understand why he wanted her to go there that too all of a sudden. 

She was quite confused, and responded in a bit concerned tone, "Why should I come ? Are you okay ? Is everything fine there?" Roy replied everything was fine and soon hung up.

 Her son had told he was in Switzerland in Europe as he was out there with his friends.

 

Sophia had been to Europe once during her youthful days with her husband, and ever since then, she had never been there or ever wanted to go there. That trip had left her with some haunting and nightmarish memories which she had been trying to erase from her mind.

 Sophia had been staying with his son's family in Calcutta for many years now. Roy's wife Monica was a cardiologist and they have two small kids, both twins, and Sophia spends her time looking after the kids. She is a very affectionate and caring grandmother and takes care of the kids very well. She spends more time with the kids than even Roy and his wife does, as very often both of them won't get enough time to spare amidst their busy work schedule.

 Roy works in a private company in Calcutta, and post his marriage and right after the twins were born, his mother Sophia moved to their family and has been with them since then. She is now an integral part of their family. Roy is also quite an affectionate and considerate son.

 Sophia during her earlier days had to go through a lot of hardships and sufferings to raise her son, that too all alone. Sophia is a widow and lost her husband just few years after her marriage, and had to go through lot of struggles in life.

 

Well, during her college days (that is during the 1970s), Sophia was in love with a young man named Sabarjith Chatterjee and finally married him against the wishes of both their families. 

In the orthodox society prevalent in those days, where religion and caste were given more priority than human sentiments, no support from both families were there for their inter-caste relationship, and they began their life together on their own.

 Later Sophia got a job as a school teacher after completing her studies, while at that time Sabarjith worked in the accountants office. Though they had to go through lot of hardships during their initial days, with their little earnings they pulled on together and settled in Calcutta itself. After few years of their marriage, their son Roy was born.

 They were living their happy life together in their rented out apartment in the city. 


It was during that time Sabarjith came across a plan for an overseas trip. 

Some friends of Sabarjith suggested a plan for a trip abroad to Europe and he was really excited. Sophia too who loved traveling and had never been abroad or even on a plane was also too much interested with the idea. Their son Roy was around three years of age then. Some of their common friends and their families too were joining for the trip and hence they were really excited.

 After their marriage due to the difficulties, they had to go through they never got a chance for a trip together and now after couple of years through their marriage, they thought this was a golden opportunity. Money was a concern, but still from their earnings they were able to spare the necessary expense for the trip and decided to go ahead with the plan.

 So finally, after much planning, the dates and schedule of the trip was finalized. Finally, the much-anticipated day arrived, and they set out for the trip. It was a two-week long vacation plan in Europe, and besides Sabarjith, Sophia and their three year old son, there were two other families with their small children. They set out from Calcutta, landed in London and then visited several places in UK, and then headed to Paris, and then to Germany and to Switzerland. While spending time in Switzerland tragedy struck !

 While they were in Switzerland, one morning Sabarjith and friends along with some other local men of the town set out for hiking to the snow-capped Alps mountains, leaving behind the ladies and kids back in their rooms. It was in the Jungfrau region towards the famous Matterhorn.

During the hiking, the group of young men climbed uphill enjoying the pristine landscape all around covered in snow which looked as if it had rained vanilla ice cream from the heavens. As they climbed enjoying the pleasant weather and serene landscape, all of a sudden disaster struck. Initially they felt some rumbling sound and felt as if the ground where they stood was shaking, and then followed by a roaring sound from above. The next instant, the entire mountain slope came down on them. It was a terrible avalanche, with a deluge of snow and rocks and fallen trees which swept everyone down the very same instant, and all of them were buried in a huge pile of snow.

 The shocking news of this tragedy spread all over the town and Sophia was shattered and was inconsolable, and so were the other women. All the families lost their dear ones, and were shocked and devastated. They couldn't even unearth the bodies of the men as the avalanche was terrible and snow had piled up over a large area and no one had any clue where their bodies lay. It was those days where GPS or smartphones didn’t exist and for locating something underneath the snow there weren't advanced technology like sonar. Though police force and the locals did extend their maximum support, all their frantic efforts bore no fruit. The three families finally returned to India bearing the loss of their loved ones, and without even being able to find their bodies or perform the last rites. 

 Sophia was too much devastated and shattered after this horrific incident. She found life miserable without her husband, and that she even thought of committing suicide several times. As she was aware that her sole existence was essential to raise her son, she pulled on with her life.

 Her family did share with her their grievance and condolences when she lost her husband, but no one came forward for further help or support and she was left alone. She put in all her efforts she could, and took lot of pains to look after her son Roy and to raise him up.

 Years went by.

 Her son completed his graduation, got job in the same city, later got married and settled down in his life.

 Sophia finally retired from her job as a headmistress in the school where she joined, and post her retirement and after her son's marriage she moved to live with her son.

 

Now she was in her late sixties and it has been around forty years since the horrific tragedy which left her life in shambles. She had been living with the memories of her husband all these years. As it's often said "time heals everything", so in the course of time she could recover and pull on with life somehow, though literally time hasn't healed everything for her. Still that day remain afresh in her mind, the morning when she waved goodbye to her husband as he left out smilingly leaving her behind, and never returned. 

 Each and every day in her life she had lived so far didn't have a single hour when she hadn't reminisced that day she lost her beloved.

 

So today, when her son called her from Switzerland, suddenly these memories flashed through her mind. She was very perplexed on why he wanted her to go over to Switzerland - a place whose memories were haunting her all through her life. 

Even from a very young age Roy was aware of the mishap, and she had narrated the details of the tragic day to Roy and explained on how he had lost his father. Also, Roy was now pretty aware that the place won't bring her any happy memories other than adds on to her pain and grief. Yet he wanted her to go there. This really disturbed her.

 After the call that day, Roy tried calling his wife. She was in the hospital when Roy called and hence later in the evening after she returned home, they both had another conversation. He explained to her at length the reason why he had called and why he wanted his mother to travel to Switzerland, and told her to explain this to his mother and convince her. 

 That night after their dinner and after the kids were off to bed, Monica and Sophia sat down in the living room as usual. Sophia was engrossed with some knitting work, while Monica had a magazine in her hand and was pretending to be reading it. Monica didn't know how to put it across to Sophia. After a brief silence she spoke up.

 "Mom, well as you know, Roy is now in Europe with some of his friends" she began and Sophia lifted up her head and looked at her. 

 She continued, "It wasn't just a casual trip.... I mean, he has some contacts in Switzerland and few years back while having a conversation with one of his friends there, Roy did mention the fateful incident which took the life of his father, and that even his body couldn't be recovered then. There was no trace of his father or his friends who had set out for hiking that day. Roy also mentioned the location where they had stayed in Jungfrau, and went for hiking and the specific year of the incident."

 Sophia's eyes widened on hearing this and she looked at her intently, trying to grasp what she was trying to convey. This was something she had least expected to hear from Monica.

 Monica paused for a moment and then continued, "That was years ago but recently that friend did contact Roy. He said that a news was reported on the local newspapers of some findings of some remains of travellers. It seems, a group of youngsters were doing some excavations and could unearth some remains. The current climate change, global warming and melting of snow from mountain tops must have also led to this finding..."

 Sophia listened intently, with abated breath.

 "A small pocket calendar was found from one of the travellers and it mentioned the year 1977 and an Indian passport was also found and few other belongings and some unidentified bodies. The friend thought of informing Roy as they found Indian passport and the year from the calendar, as it bore resemblance to Roy's narration of that accident."

 "Oh", remarked Sophia. Suddenly she seemed to turn very gloomy and sat as if struck by a lightning bolt.

She was very much disturbed earlier that day even when she spoke to her son, and when he mentioned the name of the place and asked her if she would like to go there. But now she felt really shaken and upset. She felt as if those memories which were haunting her so often, were raining down on her.

 Monica continued without giving much heed to Sophia's change in demeanour, and gathering all the courage she could get.

 "So Roy had gone to Switzerland with few of his friends and have identified some remains of articles that were unearthed, and some dead bodies were also recovered. He wants you to travel there to identify one of the bodies and if so, we could ..."

 Before she could complete further Sophia raised her hand as a gesture of objection. With eyes filled with tears, she waved her hand in dismay with a gesture to stop. She didn't want to hear this any further and she tried to utter few words, but her lips wavered and she somehow expressed her resentment for this.

 Monica had to spend some more time trying to convince her. If she didn't want to travel it's fine, but if she could and if one of the bodies they found, happened to be that of her husband's then that would make a big difference. She was the only living person who can identify him, and Roy hardly has any vague memories of his father whom he lost when he was just three years old. Roy is familiar about his father's appearance mostly from old photographs. 

 Sophia was still adamant. They continued sitting in their living room and Monica didn't speak anything further. They sat in silence and continued with their own work and after some time Sophia got up to go to bed. Monica said "Good Night". Later she too got up and went to her bedroom.

 

Next morning, Monica was busy in her kitchen making coffee. The children were still in bed cuddled together on that cold morning.  Sophia had got up and she came down to the kitchen and came up behind Monica and suddenly in hushed tone remarked, "Well I can travel if the arrangements can be made soon!"

 Monica was quite startled to hear her and turned around in surprise at the unexpected change of mind, and the courage which her mother in-law seems to have quite suddenly. She smiled at her and said "Wow. That's great. I shall tell Roy now itself".

 Quickly she tried to call up Roy but soon realized that it was still night time in Europe and hence left him a text message. 

 

Well, later during the day Roy who had seen her message, spoke to Monica and then also had a word with his mother Sophia. He went head to make the travel arrangements so that Sophia could travel to Switzerland at the earliest. Roy had to get in touch with Indian embassy to get her visa, and the formalities went quite smoothly unlike how Roy had thought. Finally, the arrangements were done and Sophia was to travel to Switzerland the next Monday. 

 

Days went by quite soon, and finally it was the day of her travel. Sophia set out for her travel to Europe. Monica dropped her at the Calcutta airport to see her off. 

She boarded the aircraft. After travelling through the skies for many hours to another part of the world, she finally landed in Zurich. Roy was there to meet her at the airport. She met him waiting for her. Amidst the crowd, she could somehow identify him as he was waving his hands. Everything around looked very unfamiliar to her.

 He greeted her and ushered her outside, and they both got into a taxi and drove to the hotel where he stayed. It was a pleasant day except for the cold weather.

 They spent the day together and talked a lot, tried western cuisines, and went for a walk later that evening. Sophia felt the weather to be colder than she though and might be because of her age she was finding it hard to cope. The places looked much different and though few places she did realize to be the ones she had visited decades ago, even those appeared much different from what she could recall in her mind.

 Roy didn't talk anything about the subject and only mentioned that the next day they would be going over to a hospital for identification. Sophia too didn't enquire anything neither did she express any interest for that topic.

 

The next morning, Sophia and Roy set out to the hospital quite early. Roy met few friends there at the hospital and had a brief conversation, while Sophia stood beside him. After a while a lady staff came and she ushered them to the morgue.

 Recently after the news was reported, many bodies were unearthed from the site and some belongings too were found. One of the body Roy had identified to be that of his father from his vague recollection and the familiarity of his father's face from the old photographs.

 The lady ushered them to the section where the specific body which Roy had identified was kept. Sophia followed Roy silently through the grey corridor and dark room. She was quite emotional but tried to maintain her composure.

They reached the vault where the body was kept and the lady turned and glanced at Roy and his mother. She didn’t utter anything. Roy nodded his head.

 Then before they opened the chamber he gently turned to his mother and whispered in a low tone, "Mom, as you know I am almost sure this is dad, but we would need you to recognise and confirm. Please have the courage."

She nodded faintly. Her heart almost sank when she heard this, and tears swelled up in her eyes. Roy held her hand firmly.

 It's been almost forty years, and many decades have passed since she last saw her husband. She was in her early twenties when she lost him and now she was in her late sixties. She had been living so far with her memories and the recollections of that dreadful day haunting her every single day. Now after forty years when she had almost lived through her entire life with the memories of her husband now at this stage if she's going to have a look at her husband's corpse, how would that be ? Would his body be in a good shape to recognise? These thoughts were bothering her. She herself wasn’t sure how she would take it and how she may react.

 The lady finally opened the vault, and pulled a bed outward. Wrapped in white clothing lay a frozen body. Sophia stared at the face for a quick second and stood there frozen. Just a brief glance and Sophia was sure. She grasped Roy hands firmly. 

 He only had a brief glance at the body then, but continued staring at his mother's face to see her reaction and she nodded her head, as tears filled up her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. Sophia was still firmly holding his hand, and slowly bend over towards Roy’s shoulder. She put his arms around his mother.

 Roy turned to the lady and in a firm tone and replied, “Yes, it is confirmed now”. He turned and then stared at the frozen corpse and asked his mother to take a good look at him.

 So, she gathered all her courage and stared at his body. It was buried in deep snow all these years, and was frozen in time, well preserved and looked almost exactly as how he was forty years ago. She has aged so much but Sabarjith's frozen body looked young and fresh and almost exactly as how he looked on that fateful day with no trace of any decay at all. It suddenly took her back in time, and the memories of that day flashed through her mind again. That day looked so fresh in her mind and it was as if it was yesterday. And now the lifeless frozen body of her husband is right in front of her still intact defying the course of time. 

She felt as if she had gone through a time loop and was living her past life again. She felt as if it was still that day on which she parted with her husband and the unfortunate mishap happened, and she was now seeing his body that very same day, though around four decades have passed by.

 Roy observed that his father's face looked much younger than even his face. Roy too had seen his father only when he was a toddler, had only some faint memories, but now he was seeing him after many decades. He grew up without his father and well aware that he was dead long ago. But never realized that one day he would be able to see him, and touch his face. He stared at his father for quite some time.

 Then after spending some time there, they left the morgue and came to the reception area of the hospital. Roy made his mother sit on a chair and then went over to talk to someone. Then they both returned to the hotel.

 Roy made the necessary arrangement to take the body back to India, got the required approval and sanction from the authorities, and also from Indian embassy. He conveyed the news to his family and relatives. There were not many relatives or friends of their generation still alive.

 After few days Roy and his mother were on the flight travelling back to India. After reaching Calcutta, they received the body from the airport took it home and made arrangements for the funeral.

 It was a shocking news for many friends and relatives back in India and many flocked at Roy's house to get a last glimpse of a person who had died forty years ago. Besides Sophia, Roy, Monica and the children, many dear and near ones had turned up to share their grief. Mostly it was people who didn't even know Sabarjith but had come out of curiosity and also lot many news channels and media persons had turned up for their coverage. Some of Sabarjith’s friends and relatives too paid their visit still unable to digest the news and came up to see with their own eyes to be convinced.

Few friends from college and work and some relatives of Sabarjith were emotional when they saw him. All who knew him were really shocked and astonished to find him appear exactly how he was forty years ago and were quite glad to be part of his last rites after these many years. 

 Sophia never expected even in her wildest dreams to find the lost body of her dead husband one day. She had believed that he was lost forever, but now atleast they could recover it and perform the last rites and a funeral according to the religious laws. After his last rites she somehow felt a great solace to her disturbed mind. The haunting memories which used to lash her mind like raging sea waves seems to have subsided and now her mind was at calm.  

 Sophia was very much thankful to the Almighty GOD. Time is a great story teller, and for the Almighty nothing is ever lost in time, but only frozen !

 Roy too was quite happy to have found his father's body even though it was after these many years. He could atleast see him and touch his face. It felt to him as if he was seeing him for the first time.

 The last rites were performed and this incident was the talk of the town and made headlines in all newspapers.

 Life came back to normalcy quite soon for Sophia and Roy and the chapter which had ended years ago, could again get a suitable logical end.

 

 

- Suveen Jacob Abraham.

 

 

 

 

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Friday, 10 September 2021

What is Time ?


What is Time?


We often believe that time is something which goes on and due to the flow of time, everything changes, the world moves ahead. We think time is what makes events happen in the world, makes both living and non-living things to change, and pushes life forward.

 

Many believe that the world and the universe work like a ‘movie reel’ where events happen in the course of time. Or, people consider "time" as a river which flows and the events happen at several instances in that river. 

For example, our birth and other events in our life are presumed to be at a specific instant in time and our life span is often thought to be during a specific instance of the river of time. 

As the idea that “time flows” is so much ingrained in the minds of people, that people believe that events happen at specific instances in time, and if we can somehow re-visit a past instance in time, it would be like travelling back to the past and we may be able to re-live those moments.

Such ideas have often fascinated movie makers and there are many sci-fic movies made based on such concepts.


Even the concept of time travel - is utterly impossible. Thinking of time travel is as if visualising if we could walk over a rainbow as if on a bridge. Just as rainbow doesn't exist and it is just an illusion to our eyes, same is the case with time too.

 

Give a different thought to this concept…


Instead of thinking of time as something that flows and events in the universe happening in a river of time that flows, (as if like on a movie reel), if we are able to think and visualise this concept the other way round then that would make better sense. We see this wrongly and the truth might be the other way round.

That is, time doesn’t flow at all. However, the universe and everything in it are constantly changing. This constant change and the events which constantly happen around, gives us a perception of the feeling of time.

Time doesn't exist and what we feel as time is only our perception, or a so-called illusion. Everything keeps on changing continually and constantly and mostly in a cyclic fashion and these changes which happen we co-relate against a scale of time, and believe that these events are happening in the scale of time. 

In Indian context, there is a famous saying that, “Everything you see is deception, an illusion of the Almighty”. Hence time is just an illusion.

 

Some of the perceptions we commonly have and the reality…

When we look around, we see the beautiful world around, animals and plants, beautiful flowers, fruits, various objects, people etc.

We think what we see is the reality, but the truth is what we see is just one way of seeing things, or one way to perceive something.

For instance, when we look at a landscape, or an object or a pet, what we see is only one of ways in which that entity is exhibited and we see how it appears to our eyes which is one aspect of it. An animal may see the same visual differently because of how their eyes are made. (Some creatures are colour blind, and some creatures have night vision, some like bats are totally blind to light and some reptiles perceives vision based on the heat content of an object.)

Besides, if our eyes could capture some other forms of radiations other than visible light (for example – infrared or x-rays or gamma rays) then the world would still look different to us. (If X’ray, then people would appear to be like the medical X-ray reports we have seen).

Also, if we had microscopic eyes and could see at particle level then again, the visual would look different. How we see our surroundings and the world, is just one way of seeing that.

 

When we look at ourselves over a period of time, we think our bodies remain the same over time, but the reality is that we are constantly changing. So, over a period of years all the molecules, cells and particles which make an individual are replenished with newer particles replacing the dead ones. So, at molecular scale or at microscopic scale we are all constantly changing and over a period of ten or fifteen years we are fully replenished with a new set of cells, or to be precise rejuvenated with a new body. But we seldom realize this, and all these changes which happen are not apparent to us.

Same is the case with our minds too. Over the journey of life our mindset, attitude, thinking, mentality and priorities in life change. As a kid our minds were different and as an adult, we are different. Thus, over the journey of life we evolve and get into different shoes playing different roles. 

 

When we look at a rainbow, and see how marvellous it appears out there up in the sky. There are multiple layers of illusion in a rainbow. As a kid many of us have often wondered rainbow to be a bow or a bridge formed in the sky but as we grew up, we realize that it is just an illusion when the sunlight gets split up into it’s constituent seven colours when light passed through water droplets suspended in air. There are other scientific explanations on why rainbow appears as an arc and also why though seven colours are there in sunlight only one colour remains predominant for an observer.

 

But have we ever wondered how long does this phenomenon persist or what is the life period of a rainbow ?

Well, it’s just a fraction of a second. This illusion happens only for a fraction of second, when a set of light rays passes through water droplets leading to dispersion of light. Light from the sun travels in constant succession. The next instant another set of light rays passes through the water droplets and so on. So in reality at each and every instant a new rainbow gets created, and replaces the former, but this change is not evident as it happens at a minuscule scale in time which we cannot perceive.

The world around is full of illusions. Hence the saying, “Everything you see is deception, an illusion of the Almighty”.

 

Again, back to what time is…

Time in Sanskrit is called as “kaal” or “kaalam”. ‘Kaala’ means “black” and ‘kaali’ means “empty”. Hence time can be presumed as something from the emptiness or the blackness.

As Albert Einstein had once quoted: "People like us who believe in physics know that the distinction between past, present and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion." Time, in other words, he said, is an illusion.

So, what I mean to say is, in reality time doesn't exist, and what we feel as time is just a perception or an illusion.

Time is a sensation felt in the material world as matter is in constant change.

In our tiny world where we live, we have days, and months and years recorded and our lives are governed by our clocks and calendars. 

Day and year are based on the rotation of earth on its own axis, and revolution of earth around the sun respectively, when one full cycle is completed.


We get up in the morning and continue our normal routine life, with our busy schedules each day, and by evening return home and go to sleep at night. The routine and cycle continue and days, weeks, months and years passes by.

We grow old with time, and when we look back at life, we tend to recollect our past, and recall specific incidents and events in our life based on the date and time.

We celebrate anniversaries and birthdays, believing that it was on this very same day in a previous instance of time that we were born or got married etc, presuming that our life progresses as uniform annual cycles. We believe that our life repeats as a cycle every year, and every new year we are passing through the same set of days, and months, but new events are happening on the repetitive cycle.


But these cycles are restricted only to each star system.

Even within our solar system the rotation and revolution of other planets are different.

For instance, on Earth, a day is 24 hrs and a year 365 days.

Whereas a day on the planet Venus is 116 earth days and 18 hours, and a day on Jupiter is 9hours and 56 mins, Neptune it is 16 hours and 6minutes etc. Though the duration rotation and revolution of planets around the sun vary, all the planets are through a cyclic motion, and hence have days and years repeated. Within the solar system time is governed by the star that is Sun.

 

But when we think of a place in outer space, outside any star system, where time is not governed by the star, then how does time flow there ?

 

The moment of creation:

The best way to decipher the concepts and intricacies in GOD’s creation, is to look at certain specific scenarios in nature or in the universe as such, which can unravel the mystery. For example, we all know that light travels faster than sound, but we cannot perceive it. If you are in a room, and someone turns on the light in that room, and simultaneous clap his hand, will we be able to figure out if the light or the sound of the clap reached us first ? Definitely no ! But,  we can in fact figure this out if we look at specific scenarios or situations in nature which gives away this reality. During thunderstorms, it is quite clear when we see the flash of lightning streaks first followed by the rumble of thunder, that light travels faster than sound.

 

Similarly, to understand the concept of time, we need to look for such kind of a scenario. The only way to understand this is to visualize when it all began, that is the moment of creation.

 

Let's look at the moment of creation when GOD created the whole Universe.

 

The universe came into existence from nothing and it will go into nothing.

At the time of creation, there was emptiness and darkness all over, nothing was there in the universe and universe was just blank, empty, and dark. 

 

Then the Almighty created light in space which was the first of his creation. It is the form of energy, and a representation of the Almighty GOD. This light in turn paved way to particles which can have mass, and then matter came into existence which was like an egg or a ball. Then that ball of matter exploded - the famous big bang which led to further stages of creation leading to formation of stars, clusters of stars called galaxies, and so on and eventually our planet earth, and finally life on earth too.

 

One may wonder if matter, light and time all were created simultaneously at the Big Bang. But that would not be true. If any event will occur, then the idea of time should already be existing.

 

(As per the ancient Greek belief that space is not empty space but contains an invisible medium called ether. I too feel that to be true, that space is a medium (can be called “ether”) through which light travels, similar to air through which sound waves can travel. Planets, stars and galaxies are contained within this “space”, and space warps around each object in space based on the mass of the object. There are regions in the universe where space (ether) is absent, and those can be called as “dark matter”. No galaxies or any heavenly bodies can exist there, and not even light can pass through it.)


If matter comes to existence from nothing, that should happen in the dimension of time. Matter can come to existence only in the dimension of time. If a particle with mass is created from nothing, then it should happen in a duration of time. That is, let’s say at time = 0th second – no matter exists, and at time = 1st second, a particle gets created – there would be a time-lapse from 0th second to 1st second.

So, the transition from ‘nothingness’ to ‘somethingness’ can only happen in time. Hence matter and time could not have been created at the same instant together, but instead the illusion of time should have been existing even before. But if time was existing even before then there should be prior events or changes that had happened before the moment of creation, that is before big bang. Else, time would have no relevance.

So, time should have formed just before matter took form, but after some form of energy was created.

Time is in fact a sensation which conveys the changes that happen in the universe.


So when was time or the illusion of time created ?


Time was not created, and time was never created, as time doesn’t exist, but the illusion of time came into existence right at the moment light was formed.

Before any matter or particle came to existence, and before anything which maketh the universe formed, light was created.


Time wasn't created as time cannot be created and there isn't anything which can be called as time.


So, at the beginning, during the moment of creation there was nothing existing, that is no matter or any form of energy, and it was vacuum and empty space. God created light….

 

When light was created and light started travelling through the emptiness of space that was when the role of time too came in. That is, the illusion of time formed as a by-product automatically, when light was created.


Light travels at 3*10^8 metres per second. 


So, the rate at which light travels through the emptiness of space paved way to formation of an idea of time. Light travels at a specific speed through the empty space covering regular distance, and the duration at which the distance is covered can be called time.


That is when light was created and that same instant when light travelled through space - the concept of distance, speed and time came into existence.


So as light travels at 3*10^8 metres in one second, when light was created, the radius of the universe at 0th second was 0. When a ‘second’ ticked by light covered the distance of 3*10^8 metres and hence the radius of universe became 3*10^8 metres at 1 second after light was created, and twice that in the next second, and thrice in the third second and so on.

 

But then, there are no worlds created, no stars or any planets so the cyclic rotation and revolution of planets not there and hence no day or no night and no year and no cyclic time change, no calendar or periodic repetitive time scale.


Time was just restricted to light and the ratio of distance covered by light at constant speed ‘c’.


The perception of "time" got prominence when matter was created, and when the big bang occurred which paved the way to creation of the universe and everything in it. 

After matter came to existence matter was constantly changing, following the regular phases of this cycle - birth, growth, saturation, decline, death.


Each and every entity in the whole universe passes through the stages of birth, growth, saturation, decline, death, be it living or non-living objects, from the tiniest of the tiniest particle to the largest of the largest galaxy, this is applicable.

Moreover, each and every entity, is in constant change and in constant motion.

 

Constant change:

We are in constant change, that is; our bodies and minds are changing constantly. At molecular level everything that makes our self is in constant change, and so is our minds. Our minds are refreshed with newer thoughts, ideas and memories and many old memories fades away. Every entity be it living or non-living experience constant changes, that is each and every organism, and all living and non-living things on earth, the landmasses, continents, planets and even stars which are in constant change.

How the earth looks like at one period of time is not the same as how it is at another or when we considered Sun, the hot plasma which burns constantly through nuclear fusion makes it in constant change with matter getting depleted and the Sun’s core fuses millions of tons of hydrogen into helium every second.


Each and every entity in the universe is in constant change during it’s journey from birth to death. Each and every entity in the universe from the smallest to the largest goes through these stages during it’s course of journey:

Birth ––> growth ––> saturation ––> decline ––> death.

There isn’t anything in the universe which remains the same forever without goes through these stage other than GOD Himself !


Constant motion:

We are in constant motion. The earth is in constant motion on it’s own axis and revolves around the sun. Hence each and everything on Earth can be considered to be in motion. Sun in turns moves along the Milky way galaxy.


So, matter keeps changing constantly and planets follow cyclic patterns, leading to days, months, and years to pass for each planet.


Events happen and everything changes and the changes that happen is leading to what we perceive as time and it is not that as time flows everything changes.


Meanwhile, it is quite easy to understand which entity was created first, and what drives each other, and which is dependent on the other.

For example, were the carnivores (like lions, tigers etc) or the herbivores (deer, zebras, gazelle etc) created first? Obviously, it should be the herbivores as the existence of carnivores are directly dependent on them.

Similarly, was Earth or Sun created first? Obviously, Sun as Earth is held in its orbit by Sun, and Earth derives energy from sun to sustain. Earth thrives because of Sun.


So, by this idea, we can try to figure out what drives each entity.


So how about time? What drives time?


Is time driven by clocks? 


After all clocks are man-made devices to keep track of time, similar to a thermometer to record body temperature or a speedometer in a car to track the speed.


Clocks keep track of the so-called time which we believe to be flowing, but time is not dependent on clocks or anything earthly.


Time is dependent on light and the sensation of time is felt because of light.


We see the world and we perceive how events happen in the universe through light. Information travels through universe at the speed of light. There is no other medium which can convey the happenings or events in universe faster than light and hence all other media loses their significance in comparison to light. During thunderstorm, when lighting flashes it conveys the event of an implosion that took place within the clouds and the sound of thunder loses the significance in conveying the same event as it was already conveyed by light.

Hence it can be concluded that the changes happening and the events all across the universe is brought forth because of light, and if light from one part of the universe is yet to reach somewhere, where the observer is then it can be assumed that the light source doesn’t exist or the event has not happened. The event happens for the observer only when he perceives that event to have happened.


When the universe was newly created, “light” was created first and as a result “time” too came to existence. Time is the sensation felt for the observer when light travels through space. When traveling at the speed of light, time doesn't exist, as time exists only for the observer observing the distance covered by light travelling at the constant speed, no time is there for the photon of light.

 

LIGHT - TIME - SPACE.


Both Time, and Space has relevance only because of Light. If light doesn't exist, time and space lose its relevance or existence. If the very first ray of light emitted, at the time of creation of universe is yet to reach certain parts of the universe, then it is as good as saying those parts of universe doesn't exit.


Considering the relationship between LIGHT - TIME - SPACE, instead of calling the fabric of space as "space-time", as per Einstein's well know theory of relativity, it would be more accurate to call light as "Light-time" and leave space as "Space" itself.


Speed = Distance ÷ Light-time; and Distance = Speed * Light-time.


In this equation, the time being calculated has to be the time taken based on the light from the light source which drives the planet where the observer is. Or the light source which governs that object for which you are applying this equation.

In our solar system, if we are considering time as the ‘light-time’ based on the light from the sun, similarly in a different planet in another galaxy (say in Andromeda galaxy) it would be based on the light from that specific star. 


I do agree to the concept of heavier objects in space which warps space around it as per Einstein’s relativity theory but only that space needn’t have to be considered as “space-time” but rather space itself, and light as “light-time”. The Sun warps the space around it. Similar to placing a heavy metal ball on a huge block of rubber foam, how the heavy metallic ball warps the foam, in similar fashion in outer space stars and planets warps and bends the space around it based on the object’s mass and gravity.


Time has prevalence only in the space where light travels, but for "light" no time exists.


If light doesn't exist, universe itself won't exist and time won't exist. Light is the foundation stone of the universe.


Time is fully dependent on light. Time can be thus defined as the ratio of distance covered by light at constant speed, and the for each individual the measure of time is dependent on the light taken into account.

 

For instance, on earth, the light from sun is taken into account, and time is based on that. Whereas in other planets of some other galaxy, whichever be the light source it determines the time in that planet. Time is thus relative and not absolute across the whole universe.

Time is only existing in the material world; and in the spiritual world, time has no existence or relevance.

 

The speed of light remains the same to all observers and that is because light brings forth the sensation of time. Hence when we consider the three parameters – Distance, Speed and Time, speed of light remains the same and constant for all observers.

When we observe automobiles travelling at different speeds – say bicycle, motorbike, car, train etc, we perceive the events through light. So, for different observers be it the motorbike rider or car driver or a pedestrian they perceive the other objects at different speeds relative to the observer. We capture the information and perceive the events through light and the time taken is brought forth by light. Hence for light no matter wherever be the observer the speed of light is the same (the ratio of distance and time taken remains the same).


Finally, the answer to the question – “What is Time?” would be – Light is Time!”.

 

Written by,

Suveen Jacob Abraham.

 




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